Project Description

Cosmopolitan
August 2009

4 Words That Cheatproof His Love
By Korin Miller

What Most Men Need

For starters, experts say, ” You are so hot” taps in to  a source of deep-seated insecurity for many men and offers them the reassurance they’re looking for.

“Attractive women get that a lot, but guys tell me they crave the same kind of compliments, ” says Ava Cadell, PhD, author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love. “Being perceived as hot in and out of the bedroom empowers a man sexually.”  And while that’s true for any guy, it is likely that John Edwards’ poor roots- and narcisistic personality (remember his $500 haircut?)- made him an especially easy target for ego stroking. Some men “are so starved for validation- if you say ‘you are so hot,’ you’ve got ’em,” says Greg Baer MD, author of Real Love.

And a man’s response to this pickup line is more than just mental: Calling out his ability to turn you on acutally may increase blood flow to his penis, Cadell says. Of course, a good guy will supress his desire to stray or channel his lust toward his wife or girlfriend, but he still can’t stop his body from registering it.

From Your Mouth to His Ego

But never mind the other woman- you can use these same four words to fire up your man’s basic instincts, says relationship expert Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love.” For eons, men have evaluated themselves based on their skills as a provider and lover, ” she says. “In long term relationships, if you want to keep passion alive, you have to keep the sexy compliments coming.” And by letting him know you want him, he’ll be less likely to fall for it if some skank tries the same tactic. “If his wife or girlfriend tells a man he’s hot and then he hears it from an attractive woman, it’ll be easier for him to shake it off,” Cadell says.