Profile on Dr. Ava

FW Magazine
September 2003

Dr. Ava Cadell is a popular Los Angeles-based author and sex guru extraordinaire. The certified sexologist (with a Ph.D. in human behavior and a doctorate of education in human sexuality) counsels patients, has written four books, has an online column and appears in her own reality series, TLC’s Love U.

How did you become interested in being a sexpert?
I think it was because I was raised in a very repressive environment…I was raised by nuns in a Catholic orphanage, and they put the fear of God into me by lying about sex. They told me if I ever kissed a boy, a baby would pop out of my mouth…They told me that the human body was dirty and that sex was evil, and I grew up a very confused teenager. So, I believed that it was my mission in life to find out as much as I could about love, relationships and sexuality, and, once I overcame my own guilt and shame, to help other understand that sex is one of the greatest gifts to give somebody who is worthy of it.

What is the strangest sex-related question you’ve ever been asked?
I’m totally non-judgmental and nothing is weird or abnormal. If something is illegal–if it involves children or animals or something that is basically dangerous or unhealthy–then I will let [the patient] know the consequences…Well, it’s not strange, but there are fetishes that people have [evolving] from experiences they have as a child. An example is [a man called] and said that when he was 12, he was living on a farm and he was hiding up in his barn and his mom came in. They had horses, and it was mating season, and she was masturbating the stallion with her hand. And I thought, “Oh my goodness. What is he going to say? Is he going to say his mom had sex with the horse?” You know, I was ready for anything. So, he said he watched…and then he watched his mom put the stallions penis into the mare’s vagina, and then he watched the two horses copulate…Ever since then, he felt like his penis was too small, and he felt like his penis should be as big as a horse’s. So, I had to explain to him that it’s not humanly possible and if it was that big, how it would, you know, a) destroy a woman physically b) be completely abnormal and c) he’d be a freak. So, that was one of the more unusual calls.

Your job is to understand people’s problems?
Most people come to me for permission…I mean, a man called here a month ago…and said that he was worried because he liked the taste of his own semen. And I said, “Okay. How is this affecting your life?” And he said, “Well, it’s not.” And I said, “Okay, is it a problem?” And he said, “No.” And I said, “Does it make you feel bad?” And he said, “No.” And then I said, “Well…then you don’t need to see me.” I mean, if it is something that turns you on and you are not hurting anybody…it’s okay.

Do you think that being a sexpert helps or hinders your sex life?
Oh, it helps, definitely. I mean, I’m always inventing new positions and toys, and I’m always doing research. I bring [my work] home and my husband and I have to try out everything that I recommend, so it’s always exciting. I have to practice what I preach. I just invented a new toy called the Trigasm Vibrator. It stimulates three points of pleasure at the same time, and there has never been anything like it…I actually discovered the new orgasm and now I have invented a toy that is being manufactured as we speak.

What exactly do you mean by the new orgasm?
It’s called a trigasm…it is the stimulation of the clitoris, the G-spot and the anus at the same time for a woman. It’s like three orgasms in one, and it is the most powerful I have ever experienced. I am really into helping women with feminine empowerment and sexual independence. I just promote it and tell women that they can achieve a trigasm either on their own, with a man, with a sex toy, using a feather, a vibrator or water.

What is your favorite position?
Always woman on top (laughing). It’s all about female empowerment and control. You’re in charge, you have the depth, the angle, everything.

What advice would you have for someone who wanted to do your job?
Find your own niche…and then go for it.

If you could make one recommendation to our readers about how they could spice up their sex lives, what would it be?

To write down all of their fantasies and share them with their partner. Then put [the fantasies] into three piles–one pile being fantasies they want to turn to reality, one being fantasies they want to continue using just as fantasies and the third pile being fantasies that they want to eliminate from their lives. Because fantasies are really the spice of life. We all have them, and they can turn bland sex into really exciting, mind-blowing sex.