Cosmopolitan
May 2004

How To Make Him Feel Like A Man

Let Him Be the Sexual Ringmaster Sometimes

Taking the lead in life (or in the love department) is nothing new for you. So why not let him make the first move in the sack. “When a man initiates sex and you respond, it makes him feel like a stud because, parlayed into caveman terms, he’s been able to seek and conquer the object of his desire,” says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., sexologist and author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love. “At the most primal level, your responsiveness to his come-on is feeding his ego.”

If he needs a little encouragement to initiate the action, prompt his passion by dropping a few provocative hints in conversation. Something like “Remember that time in Jamaica when you ravaged me on the beach?” should kick-start his mattress mojo. Then clever foreplay will really send the message home that it’s his turn to take control. “If I want Jake to take the reins, I’ll put my hands over my head and hold on to the bedpost,” says Sara, 25. “That way he knows my body is his, and that’s all the invitation he needs.”

Or kick off the love fest yourself, but then hand back the controls. For instance, skip woman-on-top for a position like doggie-style, suggests Cadell. “With his hands on your hips, he’s responsible for the rhythm and speed of sex, which will make him feel in charge.” Just be sure to moan when your honey’s randy ways drive you wild. “When you show him he’s sending your pleasure quotient sky-high, it makes him feel heroic,” says Cadell.