The Goddess of Aural Sex

Cosmopolitan UK
April 1999

The Goddess of Aural Sex

Real Name: Dr. Ava Cadell (Ildiko Eva Csath)

Message to the World: “Sex is between the ears, not between the legs – our most erotic organ is our mind.”

Cult Status: Adored for her saucy (live) shows and sexy adult games.

Qualifications: PhD in Human Behavior. Ed.D in Human Sexuality. Certified Clinical Sexologist.

Find Her on U.S. Current Affairs Shows: Hard Copy, Extra, Leeza Show, ABC, NBC News.

The Pitch: An array of household implements sits on the desk in front of Dr. Ava Cadell – a rolling pin, a toothbrush, feather duster, a banana. Her audience looks confused, but not for long.

The banana, as Dr. Cadell demonstrates seductively, is for practicing putting a condom on with your mouth; the toothbrush, she recommends for brushing over a woman’s nipples as a form of arousal, the feather duster is for teasing and the rolling pin, she insists, is a great massager. Dr. Cadell, gives lectures such as ‘How to Turn Your Man Into Putty’ (women only), ‘What Women Really Want’ (men only), and ‘The Stock Market Orgasm – How To Enjoy A Healthy Sexual Economy’ (couples and singles.) This particular lecture is entitled ‘Love Around The House.’ and explains why you don’t need to go to a sex shop to find sex toys.

“My mission is to keep relationships spicy so neither partner strays, “ she explains. “One of the things I do at my lectures is ask how many men in the audience can remove a woman’s bra in the dark with one hand. Most boast they can. So I say, “Prove it.” I put this big, joke bra over his girlfriend’s jacket, blindfold him then ask him to take the bra off. The result is a raucous farce, but the message serious – couples often forget how to undress each other in sexy, sensuous ways.

“The most common problem with sex is lack of communication,” says Dr. Cadell. I always say, “If you cook someone a steak, you ask them how they like it cooked. You don’t try to guess what your partner wants because you don’t want to ruin demise of a perfectly good relationship by not talking about how someone likes to be loved? How dare we just guess!”

If Dr. Cadell ruled the world, she says she would make ‘Lovemaking Education’ a compulsory subject in school. Everyone knows how to have sex, but lovemaking is truly an art. Sex is about satisfying yourself, making love about satisfying your partner.”

There are only two reasons why a man will stray from a relationship, says Dr. Cadell. One is because he’s not getting what he wants, and that isn’t necessarily sex. The other is when he can’t share his fantasies. I don’t think Clinton would be in such a mess if he had said ‘Hillary, honey, I have a fantasy about getting oral sex under my desk.’ Per haps he thought she’d ridicule him – many women do. So men look elsewhere to fulfill their fantasies.”

Cosmo Gives the Sexperts a Sex-Rating.

So how good is the Sexperts’ advice? We asked each of them to reply to the sex question most frequently posed to Cosmo’s agony Aunt Irma Kurtz. “I want to inject some variety in to our sex lives, but my partner seems to show no interest. What should I do?”

Dr. Susan Block: “Sit down and watch a sexy video together or take a trip to a sex shop to buy a toy – just have a look around and see what you like. It helps to distance yourself and introduce a third party, namely a video or sex shop, to add a little spice.”

Sari Locker: “Talk about it with your partner, but be positive. Say: ‘I think you’re really sexy and I love being with you, but I think there are things we can do together that would make it more fun.’ Then offer your creative suggestions.”

Dr. Pepper Schwartz: “Ambush your partner. Come to the door wearing the king of underwear he is not expecting, place candles about the room, start undressing him,. Intellectually, he might not want it, but put in front of him, he won’t have time to think.”

Dr. Ava Cadell: “Tell your partner you have desires that will heighten the enjoyment for both of you. Say. For example, ” I was daydreaming about having a bath with you and making love in the tub. You know I love that.’ Don’t just say ‘let’s bathe together’ – that comes across as selfish.”