Mar – Apr 2004
“Men Speak Out: The Sexiest Thing About Marriage Is…”
Married Sex Rocks!
Clearly, these guys are loving life in the marriage bed. But, hey, isn’t there always room for a bit of improvement when it comes to getting your groove on? Here, two of the country’s top sex experts share fun ways to spice things up and keep that hot honeymoon feeling going forever.
Have A Grab Bag
Why wit until the holidays? Cut up a piece of paper into 10 strips and divide them equally between you, suggests Pepper Schwartz, author of The Lifetime Book of Love and Sex Quizzes (Hyperion). Then, write down a sexual-fantasy request on each, like a new position you want to try or a game you want to play in bed. Your idea could even be something romantic like a candlelit dinner, which will pit you “in the mood” for bedtime. At least once a month, pull a . “favor” from the grab bag and see where the paper trail leads.
Keep An Erotic Journal
You know the old saying that a good marriage requires work? Well, this assignment won’t feel like a chore at all, promises Schwartz. Start by writing a short steamy story starring the two of you, then read each other’s entry aloud. Finally, act out the endings. If you find yourselves dissolving into hysterics before any action begins, remember laughter can be an aphrodisiac, too.
Take It Off !!
Do a playful striptease, suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love (Peters Publishing). “Men are visual creatures,” says Cadell, so it’s a no-brainer that playing up your eye-candy qualities can lead to big payoffs. Feel silly trying? Get help. “Many gyms across the country now offer cardio striptease as one of their group fitness class options,” says Cadell, but if you feel too shy for faux stripping in front of strangers just pick up an at-home instructional video at your local movie-rental place. Even learning just one sexy move (think: Beyonce’s booty shake) is guaranteed to captivate your audience of one.
Go Into Sensory Overload
It’s your turn now. “Have him indulge each of your five senses in one full-out lovemaking session,” recommends Cadell. “Include mirrors and flickering candles for visual effect, incense or massage oil in your favorite scent, flavored lubricants or chocolate to arouse your taste buds, music that makes your feel sexy, and lastly for touch, satin or leather—whichever taps into your inner goddess.”