“Playfully, tell your partner that you have fantasies that you would like to share with them,” says Ava Cadell, PhD, clinical sexologist and AASECT certified sex counselor. “If they give you the go ahead, then tell them your fantasies, starting with the mild ones.” Start with the fantasies that feel tamer to you two first, like watching each other striptease. This will put you both at ease before exploring something more risqué, Cadell says.

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