End a sex drought (or just plain boredom) and bring those gotta-have-you-now feelings back tonight!
For the first few months, you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other and did it everywhere and anywhere. Now? You’re starting to forget what he looks like naked.
According to a study by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, about 10 percent of married women in their 30s and 17 percent of those in their 40s haven’t had sex in the last 90 days, and the numbers for unmarried couples living together are even higher. While it’s reassuring that you’re not the only one, many couples misinterpret that shift from crazy, electric passion to steady, calm feelings as falling “out of love” when, in reality, they are moving into a deeper, habit-forming love, which is where true love begins to take shape, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of Loveology University and spokesperson for TheExperienceChannel.com. Chemically speaking, the brain releases oxytocin, the “cuddle” hormone, which packs a double punch by generating a sense of relaxation while also lowering stress and cortisol levels in the body. Problem is, the resulting safe, comforting emotions aren’t terribly exciting.
2. Yuk It Up
Laughter has been described as “the shortest distance between two people” (Victor Borge), but it’s also is the social glue that strengthens our connections with others. “Scientific evidence shows that laughter instantly interlocks limbic systems in the brains between two people,” Cadell says. “Laughter leads to desire as couples express spontaneous, uninhibited emotions and feel sensations of pleasure in their minds and bodies while increasing bonding and trust.”
Pick something you know will crack you both up—a favorite movie, a style of comedy—and make an effort to engage in either together as often as possible. Or get a little sassy during foreplay and start tickling him in that vulnerable spot on his side.
5. Just Get Naked
Remember when all you wanted to do with your partner was peel each other’s clothes off and never put them back on? Nowadays you barely see one another undressed. But even if you’re not in the mood for sex, there are emotional benefits to spending time cuddling in the buff with your man.
“Simply being naked together can foster intimacy by revealing yourself fully to your guy without the distraction of clothing,” Cadell says. She recommends intensifying your connection by sharing a heart-to-heart hug the next time you’re stripped down. “This is known as a tantric hug because it brings sexual energy up through the body to the heart so that two hearts beat as one,” she adds. “It causes oxytocin to release in both partners, leading to a greater sense of intimacy and increased desire.”
As cheesy as it sounds, looking into each other’s eyes will give you an even stronger surge of feel-good hormones dopamine and norepinephrine, believed to be powerful chemicals for human bonding that leads to sexual arousal. Put it all together, and “this love potion cocktail helps men maintain their erections and women to get into a juicy frame of mind and body,” Cadell says. And you thought hugs were innocent.
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