She Puked on My Penis

He Says: “I was with a very drunk girl who was giving me road head,” says Roy. “I hit a bump and she went too deep and it triggered her gag reflex. She filled my entire lap with pizza vomit.

“She passed out briefly and then woke up apologizing and crying. I took her to my place, carried her up to my apartment, washed her, cleaned her up, put her in my flannel PJs, and put her to bed. I never saw her again.”

The Right Reaction: “Don’t make a big deal out of it,” says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., the author of books like NeuroLoveology and The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games. “The bigger deal you make out of it, the more of a negative memory it might be. Any vomiting, peeing, or farting by accident, you just want to try to almost pretend like it didn’t happen.”

The Wrong Reaction: Don’t ignore the health risks here, either. “You can get germs from any bodily fluid, especially if you or your partner have an open wound or sore,” says Dr. Cadell. “So go to the bathroom to wash yourself and bring a warm wet cloth with soap to wash your lover.”